Conferences are a great way to pick up new ideas but more importantly are a chance to talk “SEO” without people around you screaming with boredom! SEO conferences are generally laid back affairs but be aware the following 15 actions may get you blacklisted from any future events.
1. Try to Seduce SEO Chicks
There are two good reasons for this
1. Most are married to top SEO’s!
2. You’re an SEO not Neil Strauss
Yes.. its true that women exist in SEO but that does not mean you need to try that new chat up line you found in the latest seduction eBook you’re flogging.
Check out SEO Chicks!
2. Get Paralytic at the Bar
Any sensible person knows the bar is were the majority real SEO activity occurs during a conference. Attempting to drink your own body weight in Gin and trying to show off your new party trick is not a good idea.
3. Give Away that Amazing Niche with No Competition
You’re in an SEO conference, enough said.
4. Try and Sell Yourself or Your Services
If you try and sell links, domains etc all you’re gonna do is piss people off. You could try to sell your body but I know of no domain or link that is worth that feeling you feel in the morning.
5.“Do a Borat” (run naked through the conference)
Yeah it’s funny on film, but if you try it for real like you’ll find it’s the quickest way to meet the security team and waste your entrance fee. I know what you’re thinking, but even if you get a thousand back links every one in the SEO world will have seen your wiener, not good if it’s a cold day!
6. Going on, and on, and…..
You’ve been asked to give a talk at an SEO conference, your is head spinning with ideas. You envisage Rand Fishkin looking up at you with awe and respect..all this is understandable. It does not, however, mean that you have to be one of those guys who spends two and a half hours explaining how you spent six months getting a pr 7 back link. Keep it short and to the point, after all isn’t that what you would want if you were listening?
7. Wet Yourself When You Meet an SEO Idol
Ok, I know you probably spend hours blog commenting, tweeting and following every word of Fiskin et al, but you have to remember that the Danny Sullivan’s and Michael Gray’s of the world are REAL PEOPLE and not demigods. Treat them as such.
8. Suck Up to The Speaker
It’s only natural that you want to make an impression, we all do. Repeatedly telling the speaker how amazing he (or she) is, but endlessly waffling about how incredible their talk was is not the way to go about it. In fact you’ll probably find the buffet a very lonely place, as nobody will want to talk to you.
9. Over Use Slides With Too Much Text
The human attention span is very limited. To combat this, it’s best to think you are presenting to an audience of Homer Simpsons, keep the slides to a minimum (less than ten), use lots of pictures and go easy on the text. Even the most die hard nerd won’t read all your slides on maximising in the SERP’s if you have 100 slides packed with 10 bullet points per slide.
10. Be That “Question” Guy
You know the one…that guy who asks loads of pointless questions over and over….No? Then you’re him. If you feel the need to ask a question about what makes an article link bait for the 169th time, just take a second and feel the hatred emanating your way!
11. Say in passing “ SEO is not Rocket Science”
Do you remember the stink Dave Pasternack caused when he said that “SEO is not Rocket Science?” It’s unlikely to earn you any friends if you start spouting out this phrase and it’s likely that you will find an SEO competition for your name when you get home!
12. Turning up stinking like some who hasn’t left the “office” in 48 hours
An SEO spends many an hour on their computer, however you’re not in your mom’s basement any more, and the conference goers aren’t going be forgiving as she is. Get in the shower!!
12. Whilst having a talk with Danny Sullivan give him a nudge an wink and say “ yeah but, SEO is all snake oil ;)..”
I’d be nervous, hell we all would, but try and crack this joke and I’d bet my bottom dollar he isn’t going to laugh.
14. Ask Danny Sullivan for a History of SEO Whilst He is Waiting for the Toilet
There are a few times when a man needs peace and quiet, waiting for a porcelain throne is one of them. Leave him (and anyone else) in peace!
15. Be Someone You’re Not
Don’t try and be cool by wearing a purple suit and shades for the conference, you’ll just end up looking like a weirdo. Just be yourself, share some ideas, make some friends and above all have fun!